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Avoidance Friday, Dec. 12, 2003 - 5:14 pm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have some concept of what my real life is, but I feel fairly far from it and I don't why I'm here or how to get there. I am finding myself really just avoiding doing anything real. Avoiding really thinking. It's too scary. And painful. I'm intending to go this Rumi/Hafiz poetry thing tonight, and I'm scared. Because it's somehwhere I've never been, I don't know what to expect, all the ususal HSP stuff, but also because Rumi's writing is so real. Can I really listen to it and not be affected? Am I going to freak out? I'm tired of these fears. I'm tired of where I am. But I'm still too scared to change. At least I think I am. The answer is in there somewhere isn't it. I feel like I'm waiting for that one final piece to fall into place and then it will become much clearer what to do and how to do it.
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Crummy - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004 Can't Decide - Monday, Jun. 07, 2004 Letting Go - Friday, Jun. 04, 2004 Google 5 - Tuesday, May. 18, 2004 Before Tattoo - Wednesday, May. 12, 2004 older entries random entry profile * sign my guestbook* For a more complete view of my life, read these: live journal ~ gratitude journal DiaryLand |