|
|
Go for the jugular Thursday, Jun. 19, 2003 - 12:23 am ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I didn't like this week's horoscope, so I'm not going to include it. I actually got up early today (8am - early for me) and got some stuff done, and felt good and productive. It was nice. It was a good change. I hope to do the same tomorrow. I have been wanting to write Natalie Goldberg-style for like a month now. I have finally written for about an hour three times in the past few days. It is great. I love it. It feels good. One of her writing rules is "Go for the jugular. (If something scary or naked comes up in your writing, dive right into it. It probably has lots of energy.)" This is really hard for me. I didn't even realize it until this week, but I really like to push unpleasant thoughts away, especially when I'm writing. I think it comes from a fear of falling into depression again, and also from fear of my own anger and the power of my own emotions. Ok, it comes from fear. What else would it be? I realize there are certain things I might start to write about, or sometimes even think about, that give me a kind of tightness in my chest, and a very slight panicky feeling. I really tried today to go for the jugular when that came up while writing, and I felt good about what came out of it. I actually realized something new about a past relationship. I got an image of my heart, and it's very full and heavy and tight with all this stuff that I don't let out, express, let go of. I really want to start relaxing this hold and letting go of stuff and really experience my feelings.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crummy - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004 Can't Decide - Monday, Jun. 07, 2004 Letting Go - Friday, Jun. 04, 2004 Google 5 - Tuesday, May. 18, 2004 Before Tattoo - Wednesday, May. 12, 2004 older entries random entry profile * sign my guestbook* For a more complete view of my life, read these: live journal ~ gratitude journal DiaryLand |