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Party Anxiety Sunday, Nov. 09, 2003 - 11:32 pm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ahh, Stuart Stuart Stuart. So we went to this party last night, and for a variety of reasons I ended up suffering from some major social anxiety junk. I felt kind freaked out and panicky. I enjoyed seeing Valkyrie and Alex and Kristen, all briefly. I enjoyed talking with Tanjent some, and leaning on him some for some emotional support. I like talking to him with my arm around him. And was I imagining it out of wishful thinking, or did Stuart seem like he perhaps got a bit jealous? Tee hee. I was talking to Stuart on my left, Alex across from me, and Tanjent on my right. I asked Tanjent if I could lean on him. So I put my arm around his shoulders, he put his arm around my waist. It was very nice. But then it did seem a little like I suddenly got more interesting to Stuart. He turned so that he was really talking directly to me. Looking at me more. Also nice. Later Stuart was by the fire and I needed more support so I just walked up to him and put my arm around his shoulders. After a little while he put his arm arouns my waist. Oh god it was so nice to spend time with him and talk to him and be so close to him. For a while his hand was in a very nice palce on the small of my back. Oh nice nice nice. I think we were there like that for 30 minutes or so. Wonderful. God how I love that man. I told him when we were leaving that I miss him, that I feel like I haven't spent time with him in a while. I don't know why I want to say this. It's hard for me to explain what his response seemed like, but it felt good. Oh I want more time with him. I want more of his energy. More more more.
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recent reading: Meetings with the Archangel by Stephen Mitchell recent viewing: Mr. Show
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Crummy - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004 Can't Decide - Monday, Jun. 07, 2004 Letting Go - Friday, Jun. 04, 2004 Google 5 - Tuesday, May. 18, 2004 Before Tattoo - Wednesday, May. 12, 2004 older entries random entry profile * sign my guestbook* For a more complete view of my life, read these: live journal ~ gratitude journal DiaryLand |