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Feeling Really Really Odd Monday, Jun. 09, 2003 - 9:59 pm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After I got off diaryland last night, I somehow ended up reading Anderson's whole live journal. I'm not sure why exactly, but it somehow helped me feel a lot better and feel like I could go to bed and function and stuff. He is a really cool person. I hope I get to know him better. Instead of going to bed though, I somehow ended up crying, so I grabbed my journal (paper version) and sat on the couch and cried and scrawled stuff in it for a while, until I just suddenly fell asleep. It was almost as if I had to get some things out of me before I could rest, and the second I did my eyes shut and I was out. I haven't reread it yet. I don't really remember anything I wrote in there. Hmm. I feel somehow embarrassed that I am feeling bad. I guess that's kinda dumb. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. I feel a little insane. I don't feel lost really, which is good. I feel really really odd. I feel like I've never felt this way before. I feel like I am waiting for something to happen. But what the hell is it? I don't know what to do with myself. Tomorrow I have nothing in particular to do until 7, when we're going to a movie. I think that will be good. No yoga, no Network, no cleaning. I really want to write a lot. I have to let myself. Oh and I have to make things for Father's Day. Maybe I can put that off til Wednesday. I think could just keep writing junk in here for hours. I think I should move to my paper journal for that.
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currently reading: Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg
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Crummy - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004 Can't Decide - Monday, Jun. 07, 2004 Letting Go - Friday, Jun. 04, 2004 Google 5 - Tuesday, May. 18, 2004 Before Tattoo - Wednesday, May. 12, 2004 older entries random entry profile * sign my guestbook* For a more complete view of my life, read these: live journal ~ gratitude journal DiaryLand |