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What I Must Do Monday, Jun. 23, 2003 - 11:56 pm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am feeling very blah and down on myself. I feel kind of like I've let myself down. I mean, I do feel a lot more organized about what I need to do before I head to California in a week, but I'm sick of the way there's always something in the way. I mean like right now, first there's California, then there's packing up the house to move, then there's moving, then there's unpacking, then there's Burning Man, then there's recovering from Burning Man, and surely by the end of September something else will come up that's trying to steal my attention away. Ugh. I guess I just have to finally start. I mean I feel like all these things interfere with me actually starting living the life I want to live. That sounds so stupid now that I've written it out. Clearly, I have to just pick a day and start. I think I will give myself til after Burning Man. I should pick an exact day though. I know: Monday, September 8. That's the day I'm going to say I'm available to start work. That's perfect. I must make myself sit down and write down some kind of goals list, and then some kind of proposed timeline and schedule, and then I must do my best to live by it, modifying it as neccessary. I must narrow my focus to something realistic. I can't do everything at once. But I must also choose things to focus on that fulfill me, that I love, that are fun, that feel important. And I must make time for rest and self-care. Whew. What a challenge. I think if Burning Man really breaks me open like I want, then I will be in a good frame of mind to start something different. I want to feel good about myself. I want to feel fulfilled and accomplished. I want to feel satisfied, content. I want to feel peaceful and calm. I want to feel joyous and joyful.
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today I listened to: Sarah McLachlan - Remixed today I read: Utne today I watched: The Monkees
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Crummy - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004 Can't Decide - Monday, Jun. 07, 2004 Letting Go - Friday, Jun. 04, 2004 Google 5 - Tuesday, May. 18, 2004 Before Tattoo - Wednesday, May. 12, 2004 older entries random entry profile * sign my guestbook* For a more complete view of my life, read these: live journal ~ gratitude journal DiaryLand |