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I'm a Cloud Thursday, Feb. 20, 2003 - 12:58 am ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well I'm feeling pretty good today. I'm actually going to go to bed in about half an hour (I'm already sleepy) and get up at 10am. I was so glad to see my husband when he came home today. It's such a great change to have that be exciting instead of just the ususal. I have been noticing a strange feeling recently. It kind of comes and goes in intensity. Normally I feel like I exist in a certain way. Physically there's my body of course, and my soul or spirit or self or energy or whatever you want to call it (I like spirit energy the best myself) exists within the space of my body and outside it a little; my energy field or aura or whatever. I sort of envision my whole self as taking up an oval shape a little bigger than my body. But recently I feel more and more like my spirit energy is spreading out. I feel like I'm a cloud. I feel like I'm really reaching out to the things around me. Like my ego boundaries are dissolving. And I'm confusing myself in odd ways. For example, on Dharma and Greg (I've gotten addicted to it and watch it every weeknight at midnight) they were just in a bad car accident and so Dharma was in a wheelchair and can't walk. When the show ended, I thought to myself, "Boy I wish I could just get up and walk to the kitchen instead of having to use this wheelchair." ?!?! It's all kinda weird and kinda cool. When I went for a walk a little while ago I felt like I had this mist (my cloud) following me and spread out around me. And I like the idea of my ego boundaries being less rigid. I don't care for confusing myself with other people, but the positive side is a feeling of melding with the Universe. How could it get much better than that? I think I wasn't ready for this feeling until today though. Now I feel ready to embrace it.
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music for today: John Gorka - The Company You Keep reading for today: The Telling by Ursula LeGuin movies for today: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead; The Princess Bride; Amelie
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Crummy - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004 Can't Decide - Monday, Jun. 07, 2004 Letting Go - Friday, Jun. 04, 2004 Google 5 - Tuesday, May. 18, 2004 Before Tattoo - Wednesday, May. 12, 2004 older entries random entry profile * sign my guestbook* For a more complete view of my life, read these: live journal ~ gratitude journal DiaryLand |