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Expressing Feelings Sunday, Aug. 10, 2003 - 1:12 am ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I so loved that movie Northfork, I decided I want to see it again and again. I also decided the other man should see it. So, today I called him and asked him if he wanted to go with me today or tomorrow. (It didn't happen today, by the way.) Basically he said he didn't want to make plans in advance because he has so much going on, BUT that he might like to go at the last minute. So I'm going to call him tomorrow and see if he wants to go. I'm going to go regardless, but I so hope he goes, because I am definitely going to make the time to tell him how I feel about him. I get all fluttery in my chest just thinking about it. I don't really care that much what the outcome is, it's just really important to me that I am honest and open. I do care that the outcome includes me being around him still in the future, but in what capacity doesn't matter as much. If I were the super-calm super-enlightened person I wish I were, I wouldn't even need him to have a response, because it really is so about me expressing myself. Oh god, but I am scared. He said on the phone he is having some kind of personal trauma crisis right now, and when I asked him what it was he said it was this over scheduling thing. But honestly it kinda sounded like it's actually something else, and he changed his mind about telling me about it. I hope I'm not the crisis. Please Universe, send him to the movie with me and give me calm and peace and strength and compassion to express my feelings to him.
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today's music: Peter Gabriel - So & Us; Cowboy Junkies today's movie: His Girl Friday
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Crummy - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004 Can't Decide - Monday, Jun. 07, 2004 Letting Go - Friday, Jun. 04, 2004 Google 5 - Tuesday, May. 18, 2004 Before Tattoo - Wednesday, May. 12, 2004 older entries random entry profile * sign my guestbook* For a more complete view of my life, read these: live journal ~ gratitude journal DiaryLand |