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Better Shields Anticipating Saturday, Aug. 23, 2003 - 12:30 am ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm feeling much better than that last entry. I wrote a bunch in my journal that night and got out some of my fear and better figured out what was freaking me out so bad. Just dumb fearful insecurities, nothing interesting. Writing them and admitting them really lessened them and I found myself writing encouraging things to myself after a while. And yesterday morning I did something that will sound real odd if you're not into this kind of thing. I visualized my usual mental/emotional/psychic/whatever "shields" and I felt that I had on very rigid yellow armor. So I visualized taking it off and replacing it with a soft pink field that emenates from my heart. I immediately felt happier, more centered, and more loving. Since then, when I start feeling off or anxious, I can just revisualize the pink and it's very soothing and loving. This pink shield protects me still from negativity but it's much more open to light and love flowing in. And out. I feel so crazy excited anxious freaky restless weird busy frenetic etc. Kind of like that Christmas Eve feeling when you're little. So much anticipation, it's hard to be still and calm. But there's also a kind of crankiness because of the stress that goes along with the super exciting thing. I'll be glad to be on the road, because the preperation is starting to wear me out!
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Crummy - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004 Can't Decide - Monday, Jun. 07, 2004 Letting Go - Friday, Jun. 04, 2004 Google 5 - Tuesday, May. 18, 2004 Before Tattoo - Wednesday, May. 12, 2004 older entries random entry profile * sign my guestbook* For a more complete view of my life, read these: live journal ~ gratitude journal DiaryLand |