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Terrible Monday, Sept. 22, 2003 - 12:40 pm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel very odd and somewhat terrible right now. I should put on some music. I always forget how much better music can make me feel. I don't even know that there's any point to this entry, but I feel a little better getting it out. I guess I'm wishing someone would reach out to me. I should clarify. I have a small list of people here in town I'd really like to get closer to, and I wish one of them would reach out to me. Anyone else is great and feels nice, but is more tiring somehow. I hate when I get so picky. Like, Universe please give me something, but it must be this very specific thing or otherwise I won't want it or be grateful. Bluh. How awful. My head feels so confused right now. I feel very needy but I really want to take care of myself. But I guess I can also sense that I really want some attentiong or outside interaction, outside of my husband at least, I sort of have different issues and stuff going on with him. I just mean that things are different with him than with everyone else. As it should be. But anyway, I feel like I need these emotional vitamins, but no one is going to know to help me with it unless I ask, but I feel so horrible asking, and it's so stressful and anxiety-ridden for me, I almost feel like it's not worth the trouble it would be. Whine whine whine. I could really use a sign right about now. A sign of what to do. In the mean time, it's put on some music, sort the laundry, and go to Network. Maybe take a shower too. :(
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watching: The Golden Bowl [didn't like it at all]; Star Trek:TNG
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Crummy - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004 Can't Decide - Monday, Jun. 07, 2004 Letting Go - Friday, Jun. 04, 2004 Google 5 - Tuesday, May. 18, 2004 Before Tattoo - Wednesday, May. 12, 2004 older entries random entry profile * sign my guestbook* For a more complete view of my life, read these: live journal ~ gratitude journal DiaryLand |