|
|
Tired of Crying Thursday, Oct. 30, 2003 - 6:46 pm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm tired of crying. I didn't cry much yesterday, but I cried enough for a while week on Tuesday. But here it is starting again. I don't know where this is coming from. I feel overwhelmed. And scared. And alone, somehow. But I don't really want to reach out to people, and I honestly don't know how receptive I'd be to people reaching out to me. So here I am, by myself, crying. I don't know what I want, so I can't ask for it. Part of me wants to be able to post this on LJ, but that sounds so scary, and asking for attention and junk. I was feeling do very terrific over the weekend. What happened? Life seems so big and hard, and I don't want to go on. It sounds melodramatic I know, but don't worry. I don't really feel depressed or anything, just scared. I'm really fucking tired of how hard living in the regular world is for me. I'm tired of always having to make excuses for myself. I'm tired of always having to shut myself off from so many things. Sometimes I just want to be a regular person. A non-sensitive person, I mean. I'm tired of feeling scared so much of the time. I'm scared of posting this. But I decided to be risky and be open. Maybe I'll regret it. We'll see. I'm tired of crying this week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crummy - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004 Can't Decide - Monday, Jun. 07, 2004 Letting Go - Friday, Jun. 04, 2004 Google 5 - Tuesday, May. 18, 2004 Before Tattoo - Wednesday, May. 12, 2004 older entries random entry profile * sign my guestbook* For a more complete view of my life, read these: live journal ~ gratitude journal DiaryLand |