|
|
Feeling Weird & Boys Wednesday, Oct. 15, 2003 - 8:44 am ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel very strange. I'm listening to beautiful music. I'm thinking about Cookie a lot this morning. He makes me feel kind of giddy. I love hugging him. He shaved his head. I love petting his head. I love touching his face. I love Cookie. I'm thinking about Stuart, as I do every morning. I miss him. I think it's been three weeks since I saw him. I've talked to him on the phone a couple of times. But that's not the same. And this week I don't really feel like I can make things happen. Hmm. It would make me feel so good if he called me. I feel weird. I feel like someone has replaced my brain. I feel like I'm someone else. What? I don't know either. I'm remembering petting Whisper's back at Soupstock. He was in pain from some kind of neck injury thingy. I knew I didn't have any massage-type help to offer. So I just sat next to him and gently petted his back and neck. It felt very sweet to me. It relaxed him considerably. I felt like he's not used to that sort of attention. Apparently he's a very shy, very quiet man (hence the nickname Whisper). But not with me. He seems very comfortable with me. Almost flirty at times. I really like him. I'm really glad we had that sweet little connecting moment. After I'd been petting him a while, he turned and put his arms around my waist and we just held on to each other for a while. Sigh. What a lovely moment. I like boys. I'm very much enjoying male energy lately. I'd like more. More variety. I mean, I get a lot from my husband. Although I don't really feel like I can make it happen right now. And I still haven;t figured how to get people to reach out to me, instead of me reaching out to them. That is such a dilemma. I almost want to ask people what's up with that. But maybe they'd be too uncomfortable to tell me. And maybe I don't want to hear the answers anyway. More beautiful music.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crummy - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004 Can't Decide - Monday, Jun. 07, 2004 Letting Go - Friday, Jun. 04, 2004 Google 5 - Tuesday, May. 18, 2004 Before Tattoo - Wednesday, May. 12, 2004 older entries random entry profile * sign my guestbook* For a more complete view of my life, read these: live journal ~ gratitude journal DiaryLand |