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Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful Sunday, May. 18, 2003 - 8:47 pm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Where to begin. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Begin from the beginning. There was a party at Audrey's house last night. Audrey lives in a small co-op with 6 other people, and this party was actually the house's party, so all the roommates invited people. Which meant that a huge number of the people present were not freaks. And this is the weekend before Flipside, so the freaks weren't going to be out in full force anyway. So the dynamic there felt something like there was a kind of mellow freak party going on inside a really big college kid party. It was odd. We didn't even get there til after midnight, but we were there until nearly 5 in the morning. First off, I got to see Starr who I hadn't seen in forever. I was so happy to see her and talk with her some and give her hugs (she's going through some rough stuff right now). And I'm glad to hear my husband spent a whole lot of time with her. I look forward to making a point to see more of her in my life. That will probably not start happening for a few months, but that's one of the great things about knowing this town will be our home for the next 20 years or so--I've got time. The main thing for me though was Cookie. I spent most of my evening snuggling and talking with Cookie on a couch in the backyard. And wow. I actually told him all the things I've been feeling about him. That I am more drawn to him than I have ever been to anyone. That I feel like there's something I'm supposed to learn from him, or him from me, or both. That even though I don't really believe in this kind of thing, I feel like I knew him in a past life. He completely accepted it all. I'm not really sure how he feels about me and all of this, but I don't really feel like it matters right now. He said I'm not freaking him out or anything, which is something I worry about. Basically I feel like he acknowledges that we have some kind of connection, and that we are friends now. And I can snuggle with him and soak him up as much as I want. Being close to him gets me kind of high. It makes me feel good. I'm amazed how very comfortable I feel around someone I barely know. (Oddly, it's kind of like when my husband and I fell in love.) Then we just talked about things, and I learned all kinds of interesting things about him, and I've realized my intuition about him seems to have been pretty accurate. He's on a path to changing and becoming his best self, and somehow I saw that in him already. If someone had described him to me before I met him, and all the things I've learned about him now, I would have been dying to meet this man. This is all so strange and nothing like this has happened to me before. I think the most interesting thing for me, was waking up this morning feeling absolutely wonderful, and realizing that I finally feel like I'm on the right path again. I feel trust and faith in the Universe again. I know that there is still a lot of work and struggle ahead, but there are enough signs for me that I don't feel scared anymore about the future. And oddly, I think finding Cookie was the final thing that brought me here. I just keep repeating a line from Holiday (my favorite movie) in my head. When Cary Grant as Johnny Case is asked how his vacation was (where we soon learn he fell in love) he answers: Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
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Crummy - Monday, Jul. 12, 2004 Can't Decide - Monday, Jun. 07, 2004 Letting Go - Friday, Jun. 04, 2004 Google 5 - Tuesday, May. 18, 2004 Before Tattoo - Wednesday, May. 12, 2004 older entries random entry profile * sign my guestbook* For a more complete view of my life, read these: live journal ~ gratitude journal DiaryLand |